Mr Moses

Among the most ubiquitous figures in Islamic, Jewish, and Judeo-Christian monotheistic religions is Moses. His role in all of the afforementioned faiths is that of the lawgiver - a medium between god and mankind. In Judaism, he is considered the greatest of all prophets, the true servant of god and the father of all prophets to come. He is also credited with writing the Torah. In Christianity, he is among the most important figures in the bible, referenced more in the New Testament than any other Old Testament figure - and his "Ten Commandments" (while not exclusively Christian subject matter) are of undeniable importance. In the Qu'ran, Moses is mentioned more than any other person, (yes, including Muhammad) he is a lawgiver and a leader of his people. He is also an important prophet in several "new religions," including the Bahá'í faith, and Rastafari.

Purportedly born around 1391 BCE, Moses' birth came at a time in which the Hebrew people were slaves in Egypt, and increasing in number. The Pharao at the time was concerned that if their numbers increased any further, they may help Egypt's enemies - or become one themselves. He ordered all newborn Hebrew boys to be killed, Moses' mother hid him inside a reed basket when the soldiers came, and sent him downstream. He was later found by a royal midwife and adopted into the Egyptian royal family.

Wait, what? Stop.

In 2300 BC, a High Priestess in Azupiranu on the Euphrates river gave birth, secretly, to a child. The child's name would be Sargon. In order to avoid infanticide (High Priestess + Baby = Shit + Fan) she put the boy into a reed basket and sent him downstream. He was later found by a royal midwife and adopted into her family. Sargon would later become a gardener, a royal cupbearer, and then leader of his people, and a great king - Sargon of Akkad.

Ok, let's continue.

Moses would have to flee his life in the royal family after killing an Egyptian slave master. He would later return and unleash ten plagues onto the Egyptian people in order to convince them to "Let his people go." First, the Nile river would flow with blood, the fish would die, and the Egyptians would not be able to drink from it. Second, "the Nile will teem with frogs," cursing Egypt to an invasion by amphibians. The third and fourth plagues involve lice and biting insects (Yeah, gross.) The fifth and sixth plagues involve boils, sores, and disease - first upon the livestock, and then on the people themselves. The seventh plague is a storm, in which hot ash and fire rained down on the egyptians. The eighth plague had locusts come and swarm all of the egyptian crops. The ninth plague had the sky darkened for three days, and the tenth and final plague had the firstborn of every egyptian family killed.

While efforts continue to this day to discover what happened during these ten plagues (as there are loose references to them in Egyptian history as well, though these references lack any mention to Hebrew people or Moses) theories differ. It has been postulated that the Egyptian account of the plagues is in fact a reference to the Midean eruption of the volcano Santorini. This volcano was recorded to have erupted in approximately 1623 BCE, and ash from said eruption can still be found in the banks of the Nile. The red ash would have made the water blood red, unsafe for drinking or fish, and this would have acted as a catalyst for the plagues which followed. (Frogs leave water and die, bugs go without predators and increase in numbers, disease is spread by all of the insects, ash from the volcanic eruption falls down on the people, locusts fly from areas destroyed by the volcanic eruption and feed on the crops, the sky would be darkened by clouds of volcanic ash... kids... die?) This theory, while interesting, is largely based on scepulation and has been heavily criticized by both the scientific and the religious community. (The theory was put forward in a 2006 documentary by Simcha Jacobovici called The Exodus Decoded, as well as a book by geologist Barbara J. Sivertsen called The Parting of the Sea: How Volcanoes, Earthquakes, and Plagues Shaped the Exodus Story.)

Following these plagues, Moses led his people out of Egypt. After a dramatic chase scene involving Charlton Heston parting the Red Sea so that the Israelites could escape, they made a home at the base of Mount Sinai. Moses climbed the mountain to speak to god, and returned to his people with god's words - laws for them to follow. (An interesting parallel to this part of the story is Minos, King of Crete, son of Zeus. He would cimb a mountain and speak to Zeus, who would give him laws to bring back to the people.) Moses would then lead the people through the desert towards the promised land of Israel, although he would die at the age of 120 in approximately 1271 BCE before making it to their destination. (Come on, god... You couldn't have given him a few more weeks? Dick.)

Now, friends, for the reason for this long-winded (and parentheses filled) post. I've been reading a lot about a man named Ze'ev Herzog, director of the Institute of Archaeology at the Tel Aviv University. If you're at all interested in archaeology or history, particularily Israeli biblical history, this man is most definately the "King of the Castle." His works include Beer-Sheba II: The Early Iron Age Settlements, Excavations at Tel Michal, Israel, Archaeology of the City: Urban Planning in Ancient Israel and Social Implications, The Arad Fortresses, and Redefining the Centre: The Emergence of State in Judah. He's quite an interesting person, and most of his publications are available on the internet, translated into english. However, one of his articles really stood out; In Ha'aretz Magazine, on Friday October 29th, 1999, Herzog had the following to say about the Exodus from Egypt.

"This is what archaeologists have learned from their excavations in the Land of Israel: the Israelites were never in Egypt, did not wander in the desert, did not conquer the land in a military campaign and did not pass it on to the 12 tribes of Israel. Perhaps even harder to swallow is that the united monarchy of David and Solomon, which is described by the Bible as a regional power, was at most a small tribal kingdom. And it will come as an unpleasant shock to many that the God of Israel, YHWH, had a female consort and that the early Israelite religion adopted monotheism only in the waning period of the monarchy and not at Mount Sinai."

tinyurl.com/ykd4wom - for more of his statements in this article.

So, friends, again I implore you. Educate yourselves. If you've read what I've written and accepted it as either truth or blasphemy, you're only hurting yourself. If any of the things I've mentioned interest you, look them up.